Short Film Reviews

2007-01-12T23:46:00.000+08:00

A NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM
Featuring: Ben Stiller, Dick van Dyke, Carla Gugino
Brief Synopsis: When a security guard works his first night at the museum, rather unexpected things happen.

Comments: Ben Stiller films should always be taken with a pinch of salt (err not literally). Even more so if you've seen the trailer. The film is a once only affair because after you've seen all the jokes, there is no element of surprise any more. If you've nothing better to do, this film is averagely amusing (I heard my companion laugh out loud several times). There's a million cameos with some of them working well and others rather not (the tiny men - no no no). However a little bit of credit to the Malaysian audience - they did laugh at Ricky Gervais after a while.

Thing to learn from this film: All publicity is good publicity.
Rating: 4.5/10

2006-12-08T23:23:00.000+08:00

CASINO ROYALE
Featuring: Daniel Craig, Eva Green, Mads Mikkelsen
Brief Synopsis: Well James Bond has to stop some evil villain from taking over the world / getting enough money to take over the world (although the US have proved it's hard enough just to take over Iraq so why a madman thinks he can do better, I don't know).

Comments: There should never be too much expectancy with a James Bond film. After all it's a summer blockbuster type of film (even though this was released in the winter!) with spy tension, beautiful women (which they cut out of the Malaysian version so I have no idea about the role of the Italian woman), amazing gadgets in fast cars, chase scenes, fighting during chase scenes, a little bit of torture which he will somehow get out of (fantastically parodied in one of The Simpson episodes) and a happy ending. Well this is pretty much the film had but it was fun most of the time. However the ending was ridiculously drawn out in the effort to give us a twist but I felt it spoiled the film a little.

However most of the hype and talk revolved around the Daniel Craig being a blond Bond. I felt he did a decent enough job as cool, suave, heroic, vulnerable and humourous. I don't really understand why there is so much talk about it - he's going to Be Bond anyway so just sit down and enjoy the film! They can't bring back Connery, Dalton or Brosman so why bother discussing it. I can understand it if you want to talk about whether Bush/Blair makes a good president/prime minister but fictional characters?

Things to learn from this film: The doctor I went to see this with has no idea why he drank salt water when he got poisoned.
Rating: 6.5/10

2006-11-09T18:10:00.000+08:00

THE DEPARTED
Featuring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Martin Sheen, Mark Wahlberg
Brief Synopsis: There's a cop in the Mafia and there's a Mafia member in the cop shop. Who will find who first?

Comments: It's based on Infernal Affairs and although I know you aren't supposed to compare them, I couldn't help it. Despite the fact that this is in my language (notwithstanding the few, ok very few, Chinese words I know), I prefer the Hong Kong version every time. Maybe I've been soft since I've been in Malaysia but this film seems incredibly graphic with its violence and language. The censors must have had fun with this film because the word "f*ck" and its derivatives are said 237 times throughout the film (thanks imdb.com) and this is detrimental to the film because when such a word (however distasteful it may be) is deleted so many times, the flow of the film is cut 237 times too. I also feel that the 'stolen microchips' plotline is a little bit, well, rubbish in all honesty. Could they not think of anything better? And I constantly found myself a bit bored at different times in the film too.

So you have a film that is choppy copied from a film which is already one of your favourites with severe violence on screen. Are there any saving graces? Well I suppose the characters were ok but the Matt Damon and DiCaprio (and I like them both as actors) almost seem too young for these roles - they look like boyish people when I feel they should be more hardened. The older ones seemed more realistic with Jack Nicholson pulling off an evil Mafia boss to great effect. So maybe, the way the film was directed wasn't to my liking - I never did see Scorsese's Gangs of New York - but I imagine with the stories about the level of violence, it might have similar levels to this. It just seems too gratuitous.

Maybe it's a bit unfair to grade a film that has been censored but you can only say what you see. My advice? Get yourself a copy of Infernal Affairs.

Things to learn from this film: The way to get the Mafia's respect is to beat the cr@p out of someone. Err but you better be careful who you choose!
Rating: 5/10

2006-10-25T18:14:00.000+08:00

THE PRESTIGE
Featuring: Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Michael Caine

Brief Synopsis: Two rival magicans go head to head to find the ultimate magic trick which leads to fairly disasterous consequences.

Comments: Frankly the poster looks terrible. The synopsis doesn't sound remotely thrilling. But the film is certainly worth watching because the two lead characters are pretty enthralling. The director, Christian Nolan, does a magnificant job of building up the suspense and even though the timeline jumps back and forth, you are never confused about where you are in the film. Mr. Jackman and Mr. Bale's characters descend into revenge and madness in their attempts to outdo each other and without telling you the whole plot, it isn't done in a mad nor distasteful manner but in a serious manner with which you can sympathise. Michael Caine, as ever, does a very reliable job as an assistant and in a way links the characters together with his worldly wisdom.

It's difficult to write much about the film without giving much away but ignore the poster and watch it because it is worth your time. It's much better than your average Hollywood blockbuster where you can already make a standard guess at the plot and the ending - and usually end up right! You'll never guess the ending of this one...

Things to learn from this film: Revenge just doesn't get you anywhere. Forgive and move on.
Rating: 7.5/10

2006-09-29T20:52:00.000+08:00

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
Featuring: Anne Hathaway, Meryl Streep
Brief Synopsis: A naive young journalist comes to work for one of the toughest bosses at the biggest fashion magazine in the USA.

Comments: This much anticipated film is a fairly enjoyable one. There's virtually no thinking to be done so sit back and enjoy the ride. It really is like the female version of the Fast & The Furious - just replace the high powered cars with high powered clothes, a good looking, good driving leading guy with a good looking, very well dressed girl and a rather tame plot with umm a rather tame plot. The boyfriend relationship is fairly predictable as is the jealous first assistant and the other writer who admires her and 'her finding of a confidant at the office.' There was a scene which made me question whether I work hard enough at my current job but after much deliberation, I decided that the company I work for isn't worth dedicating my life to. However there is one main difference...

Whilst Anne Hathaway does an ok job as portraying the intelligent yet confused Andy Sachs, the lady who does steal ALL the limelight is Meryl Streep. She is fantastic as the 'I want it NOW' Miranda Priestly and you basically find yourself waiting for her next scene just to find out what terrible request she's going to make next (unpublished Harry Potter book - ouch!). The tone of her voice sounds threatening and authoritarian despite it hardly ever being raised, is a teacher's dream!

I feel there's a few questions to be answered (my main one is - does she ever tell the boyfriend about her little tete a tete in Paris?) but after the ending and after wiping away all the drool of watching so many fashion makeovers, you'll find yourself wondering, "where can I get the book?" quickly followed by "is it as fun as this movie?" My wife loved it.

Things to learn from this film: The beautiful young woman wearing expensive branded clothes might actually have a brain after all.
Rating: 7/10

2006-08-11T20:54:00.000+08:00

MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND
Featuring: Uma Thurman, Luke Wilson, Anna Faris, Eddie Izzard
Brief Synopsis: A guy helps a woman in distress and ends up dating her. The breakup is a little tougher than he ever anticipated...

Comments: I thought the premise of this film was quite good and wondered why nobody had ever done it before. Well sometimes a good idea should just remain an idea. It was the only film I caught on my trip back to England and it was something I wanted to see because I thought they might have cut scenes out of the Malaysian version. Well in the end, I wish I didn't really bother!

I could have walked out halfway through the film and not missed anything. Whilst Uma Thurman actually does very well as a neurotic superhero, there's just no spark in the film. It was always going to be intriguing to see how a female superhero hooks up with a guy - the amount of bedroom action portrayed in the film would surely have broken Matt's manhood! - and I was just as curious how badly a superhero would take a breakup and whilst that was a bit fun, the film never took off.

The characters are rather sterotyped and you find yourself not caring about them at all. The plot gets sillier and sillier and rather camp (befitting Eddie Izard as the baddie). I know it's not supposed to be serious but it's silly without being funny (Austin Powers is silly but manages to be entertaining). One example is the reconciliation between G-girl and Profession Bedlam (great names!) during a fashion shoot - it's simply ridicious.

Am I being too harsh? Maybe women who have had breakups/bad relationships with men will enjoy it? Maybe they could post what they wanted to do with their ex-boyfriends if they had superpowers in the comments section below!

Things to learn from this film: Having superpowers doesn't mean you are emotionally stable - although I guess that could be said of every baddie in every superhero movie.
Rating: 3.5/10

2006-07-13T22:01:00.000+08:00

THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT
Featuring: Lucas Black, Bow Wow, Brian Tee
Brief Synopsis: Young American man gets kicked to Japan after illegally racing. Guess what he does over there...

Comments: If you are male, the likelihood is that you will enjoy this film. Expensive, modified racing cars with exciting race/chase sequences and girls with very short skirts makes this a teenage boys' dream. It's never going to win an Oscar nomination but you know that it's not that sort of film so go, watch and enjoy.

It was a good move to show the young man learning how to drift - if only to deter the average Malaysian wannabe boy racer from wrecking his car and tyres! This wasn't the only educational part of the film - seeing Japan from the American point of view was also interesting (the fact that the leading man was thrown into a whole new culture alone) and something I could discuss with one of my (Japanese) language students.

Things to learn from this film: If you wear a very short skirt, you will get noticed even if you are damned ugly (thanks to my other half for that!).
Rating: 7/10

2006-07-12T20:35:00.000+08:00

CARS
Featuring: Owen Wilson, Paul Newman, Sally Carrera (an appropriate name!)
Brief Synopsis: A sporty young racecar finds himself in the middle of the countryside after several wrong turns.

Comments: This was a film that I felt my son could watch which is always a bit of a distraction because you spend half your time keeping an eye on him trying to make sure he doesn't misbehave by continually kicking the seat in front of him! Generally it's a fun film with the young gun learning that life isn't just about getting to the top but about relationships in life (something some people forget once they start earning) which is a good moral lesson for every young person to learn (yawn).

The cars themselves are actually quite realistic and the characters have more depth than your average Hollywood character which is worrying seeing as the former are computer generated images and the latter are humans! There are a few parts where the conversations get a bit lengthy which is easy to gauge because my 6 year old gets a bit restless and starts flapping his seat about. My favourite cars have to be the boy racers who gently send the Mack to lullaby land - it's a shame they didn't make another appearance in the film. It was also fun to collect the McDonald's toys - has a film ever had a chance to make better more money from it's toys? Actually maybe during the Toy Story series...!

Things to learn from this film: The person who crosses the finish line first isn't always the winner.
Rating: 6/10

2006-06-10T01:17:00.000+08:00

X MEN 3: THE LAST STAND
Featuring: Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen
Brief Synopsis: A cure is found to turn mutants into humans. Unusually enough, this isn't to everyone's liking and this is where a lot of action begins

Comments: This was an action packed film without being formulaic. The unexpected actually happens - main characters died! It took me a while to realise that Cyclops wasn't actually coming back and then the Professor got turned into dust too!! Once these things happen, you know you are on a roller coaster ride with lots of twists and turns where no character is safe. This suspense can carry on through the film and it is possible to get away with this because the Marvel Universe has dozens of characters with which you can introduce and take away simply because they are available. In any other film, it wouldn't be possible because you would have to give them some sort of introduction but here cameo roles make for a more realistic film because all the characters already have some background (well if you are a comic geek!).

It's like a huge adrenaline rush as you are lurched from one scene to the next and you wonder how the X Men are going to stop a madly powerful woman (yes, even stronger than Hillary Clinton!) from destroying America. The continuation from the previous films are useful - it's actually worth watching them to refresh the background - but you will find that this one simply blows the others out of the water in terms of plotlines and special effects which are just as impressive as before. The only reason that this film doesn't have a higher rating is that I feel the re-watch value isn't there as once you've seen it, you don't really feel the urge to see it again (unlike Mission Impossible 3). However you should go and watch it once - if not in a cinema, then with the largest TV screen you can get your hands on and a massive sound system!

Things to learn from this film: If your uncle continually asks you which superpower you would most like, the drab sounding healing power might now be a strong contender!
Rating: 6/10

2006-05-05T17:29:00.000+08:00

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3
Featuring: Tom Cruise, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Ving Rhames
Brief Synopsis: Someone falls in love, someone gets kidnapped and everyone's chasing a rabbit's foot.

Comments: The first summer blockbuster of the year and it is a scorcher. Tom promises as much on the website and I know - I spent a good 2 hours watching all the stuff on it and subconsciously absorbing the theme tune to a manic degree. It is action packed and the pacy sequences move on quickly from one to the other (although without too much of the silliness of the second film and without too much of the brain twisting of the first). All the special effects are excellent (as it should be for this sort of budget) together with some ace gadgets (ok, I'm just thinking of the remote controlled x-ray guns here) and it all very pleasing eye candy.

The cast do portray their characters with apparent ease as Tom slips in Ethan like a glove as does Ving Rhames with Luther. Maggie Q has no problems being a very skinny agent Zhen and I like Jonathan Rhys Meyers as Declan. But the character that steals the show for me is the brooding Philip Seymour Hoffman as Owen Davian - calm, smart, calculative and with an understated confidence of being able to carry out his threats. He truly is excellent. Must be all that stage acting.

Anyway I gave this film a very watchable rating but ever since the viewing a month ago, I find myself itching to see it all over again so maybe its addictability is stronger than I thought. It's all very enjoyable eye and popcorn candy. All together now doo doo doo...

Things to learn from this film: Never underestimate the Road Transporation Department.
Rating: 7/10

2006-04-18T17:27:00.000+08:00

DA VINCI CODE
Featuring: Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellen, Jean Reno
Brief Synopsis: A Harvard symbology expert is called to The Louvre - where he is shown the body of a spreadeagled dead man.

Comments: A film that has been hyped without doing any publicity. The film that the Vatican doesn't want you to see. The film that the Philippines have cut out the last 10 minutes. Well they should have all seen the film first because it really isn't that controversial. It's a fairly even handed adventure film. It's not quite as witty or sharp as Indiana Jones or as 'religious' as The Passion of Christ and certainly not as action laden as M.I.3. But in it's own right, it's basically an OK film.

The action takes a while to get going (my viewing partner nearly fell asleep during the first half hour) as the film attempts to show four points of view (Professor, the Cardinal, the albino monk & the police officer) and the problem that you have building up 4 separate characters. All the pre-film fuss surrounds the fact when Sir Leigh Teabing starts talking about church history and the origins of Christianity in the middle of the film. Ok, I shall have a little bit of dialogue here:

It's a film - it's supposed to entertain, it's based on a fictional book and it's primary purpose is not to inform. You can watch the film but don't always believe everything you see and hear. Just because it's on screen doesn't mean it's true. However if you want to believe that everything is true, go ahead. If you want to know more, you can buy one of the many books on the market, go to your local church or click on this link (which is obviously the easiest!) Da Vinci Code Special. Maybe people can use this film as a platform to build further knowledge (it should prompt many questions if nothing else!).

The second of the half does build some momentum as they head west towards England and then north. However the big problem for me was that I would spend all my viewing time comparing the book to the film (as I do with all films where I have read the book). And of course, my mind would say, "they've missed that bit out," "they've cut out that bit" "that bit's changed" (Swiss building) and so on which does change the emphasis of the film a little. The other problem is that they translated all the French and Latin into Malay but declined to leave the English translation so I spent most of the time guessing the dialogue - thanks Malaysian translators! I mean, I thought your country was trying to improve its English - bah humbug. But generally I thought the film was ok - not the most exciting film in the history of filmmaking but I've seen a lot worse too. (The book is ok but be prepared for hanging chapters thus making it slightly addictive.)

Things to learn from this film: It depends on the tea re: whether you should have lemon or milk with it.
Rating: 5/10

2006-03-30T16:16:00.000+08:00

THE INSIDE MAN
Featuring: Clive Owen, Denzil Washington, Jodie Foster
Brief Synopsis: It's a bank robbery. Isn't it?

Comments: This film has a lot going for it. A pretty stellar cast with Clive Owen starring as the smart chief thief - smart-thinking, wise-cracking with a bubble of anger and violence just below the surface of his calm character. Denzil does alright as his cop foil with the trilby hat with Jodie looking seriously businesslike in her all white suit. The plot is pretty simple and easy to follow with the pacing of the film always keeping you on the edge - the audience is always curious to know what's going to happen next, why is he doing this, how is he going to carry all that money out so all these questions are always in the forefront of your mind. The twists and turns are never ending especially as the timeframe jumps from the present to the future and you do hold your breath right at the end. The cinematography suits the style of the film. You can see Spike Lee trying making a bit of a throwback film - set in modern times but with a big nod to the blues era - Denzil's hat, the choice of music and very constant blue hue with dark shadows lurking around.

And I liked all that and enjoyed the film. But there was just one thing that spoiled it for me and that it was just a bit too preachy. I think it started with the kid and the PSP wannabe but then it continued all the way to the Nazi guy being punished and Jodie not wanting to be paid. The irony is that the bank robber who is threatening, violent and a law breaker gets away with breaking the law. If you are going to be preachy, be consistent and make sure the bad guy doesn't get away with it (although you could argue that's precisely what happens). I feel it's all preachy preachy until the end where they turn the tables on you and they say 'the ends justify the means.'

Things to learn from this film: Keep an eye on what computer games your kids are playing.
Rating: 6/10

2006-03-28T21:14:00.000+08:00

MILLIONS
Featuring: Alexander Nathan Ethal, Lewis Owen McGibbon
Brief Synopsis: Two hundred thousand pounds drop onto the play house of a 7 year old boy.

Comments: Danny Boyle (the director) has a fantastic imagination. The film truly feels as if you are watching it from the eyes of 2 children with each developing scene. Not only are the kids brilliant (although when you are kid, acting as a kid probably isn't too hard vs if you had to pretend to fight and talk with creatures a la Narnia) but the viewpoint of each of the kids is well reinforced too. One believes in doing good, the other has less altruistic motives and the film documents with each brothers' struggles with their viewpoint, each other and a man after a bag of money.

The plot trots along fantastically as well, with the deadline (when all the money becomes useless) always forcing a certain issue. The 3 main adult characters give 3 well rounded performances but it's really a story that belongs to the kids. There's many a thought provoking scene and these are combined with a dose of humour which makes for a film that appeals to a broad spectrum of people from ten year olds all the way up to adults.

This film truly reminds you what it is to be a kid again and what is really important in life. Millions is instantly propelled into one of my top 10 favourite films list.

Things to learn from this film: Watch out for little kids who say their mam is dead.
Rating: 9/10

2006-02-09T21:37:00.000+08:00

FEARLESS
Featuring: Jet Li
Brief Synopsis: Set just before the colonial times of China, a man wants to prove he is unbeatable. Does he manage it? Watch and find out!

Comments: Apparently this is Jet Li's final martial arts film before he ventures into 'real' or dramatic acting and it is a corker. In all honesty there is little surprise to the storyline because it is basically a man's journey from a troubled past into redemption. This sort of storyline has been done many times before and while it is a worthy lesson to know and learn, it become tedious and preachy when viewed in a 2 hour sitting. Honestly, from my point of view, you can only learn this lesson by acting living it out in real life. However many times you watch a film with this sort of moral storyline, it will not get inside your stubborn head unless you live through the mistakes yourself.

Anyway the martial arts is breathtaking stuff. It is worth watching the flim just for the fight scenes as they are choreographed superbly and it is starts to get difficult to know where the special effects start and real life finishes. He fights against people who have a similar style, who don't have the same style as him, who are bigger (make that huge!), where there is more than one opponent, with many different types of weapons, on different surfaces although one of the more impressive (although shorter) fights revolves around him doing it with one hand under an umbrella in pouring rain. I read in a review that there is no constant enemy for him to continually fight against but the enemy in this film is himself (sorry but I did warn you it was cliched!).

I did have a discussion with a friend about the martial arts in this scene and in another film (SPL). He said (and he's actually an instructor so he knows his stuff) that the fighting in this film is very artistic and stylised whereas SPL is more realistic with its hand to hand combat, struggles and take downs (and a lot more brutal). Just in case, you wanted to know!

There is one scene where I would suggest you walk out of the cinema and have a short stretch of your legs. It is when he ends up on some rural farm, meets a blind girl, rediscovers his zest for life (or something like that). Of the many films I have ever seen in my life, this possibly stands as the biggest waste of time. You would miss nothing at all if there was simply a note that said - he ends up on a farm, meets a blind girl which he sorta falls in love with but nothing happens, regains control of his life and decides he is better suited to go back to the city. That would be a lot better than wasting 20 minutes of reel time.

Things to learn from this film: Make friends with people who are clever. You can tell who they are because they will do their homework for you when you are both children...!
Rating: 7 .25/10

2005-12-29T14:35:00.000+08:00

WALLACE & GROMIT in THE CURSE OF THE WERE-RABBIT
Featuring: Peter Sallis, Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham Carter (voices)
Brief Synopsis: A monster is eating up all the vegetables in the village. Wallace and Gromit try to put their hands and mitts on it.

Comments: What I love about Wallace & Gromit is that they are quintessentially English. The tea, the cheese, the car are all wonderful and quaint reminders of a faraway land (well for me!).
Plotlines for all their films are always very tight with a well written story gathering pace and drawing you in before you are hit with unexpected twists and the side serving of subtle humour (again a bit British - Totty anyone? Even the planes at the end have the allied markings found on British planes in the second World War!) thrown in. The attention to detail was always lavish (which you would expect if you are making films where it takes a day to make 3 seconds of footage) and with this being their first feature film, all this was not going to change.

I can't say much more than that without ruining the story completely but it is well worth watching and if nothing else, always interesting to see (and support) a medium on screen that is completely different to life acting and animated films. My wife's words, "it was very good actually."

Things to learn from this film: Beware of your ordinary garden gnome when stealing vegetables. He may just be a motion detector for a burglar alarm system.
Rating: 7.75 /10

2005-12-16T15:22:00.000+08:00

KING KONG
Featuring: Jack Black, Naomi Watts, Adrien Brody
Brief Synopsis: An intrepidious film maker decides to go and look for a mystical island and gets a lot more than he bargained for. A lot = a really big monkey...

Comments: When deciding to watch any film at midnight, you want it to be engaging enough to keep you awake through the bewitching hours. And King Kong does this with aplomb keeping the viewer on his toes throughout the second and final third of the films. I believe my brothers' words regarding the first 40 minutes were, "it's been an hour and we still haven't seen King Kong" but the first third starts off by merely introducing the characters in their various settings before they all ominiously board the ship.

However it all swings into action once they reach the island. The natives are enough to frighten any grown man (well ok all the men in my family), King Kong is pretty scary when you first meet him, the fearsome Tyrannosaurus rex (and there were more than one!) but nothing made my brother put his hands in front of his face more than the giant sized creepy crawlies that hid in dark spaces of the island. Someone on Peter Jackson's team has a twisted memory and there were some fairly young kids sitting in the audience too!

For me, it was all an enjoyable cinematic experience. I don't think the film pretends to be anything more than a thrill seekers ride, despite the odd moments of romance, as there are a fair number of holes in the plot than swiss cheese (how did they get such a large mammal onto the boat? what happened to all the natives?). The women that I know who have seen it say amusing things - my wife says it was damned violent, my work colleague (who disliked it) says King Kong just behaves like your average Indian man!

Regardless if you are going to watch it, you have to watch it the film on a large screen to get the full effects; I caught a short section in a pirated DvD shop and King Kong just looked puny and cheap!

Things to learn from this film: Don't make a big beast angry. Learn some stage tricks. Whenever you fall into a large abyss, make sure you have a plentiful supply of bright lights.
Rating: 8 /10

2005-12-09T21:33:00.000+08:00

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH & THE WARDROBE
Featuring: William Moseley, Skandar Keynes, Georgie Henley, Anna Popplewell
Brief Synopsis: 4 children literally find a whole new world at the back of a err wardrobe .

Comments: The Disney lot sure did their marketing on this film. I had no idea why but I knew I JUST HAD TO SEE IT. Actually I wasn't overly keen on the film as I am a great fan of the book (well from 18 years worth of memories) and films rarely live up to the imagination of a small child. The problem with having read the book first is that you spend the whole film trying to remember what happened next and if you do manage to remember, you think critically to yourself whether it was what you imagined and if it didn't, well it's all a bit of a downer.

The start of the film had quite a lot of promise for me with World War bombings and evacuations but somewhere in the middle, it really just got bogged down. At times the dialogue was too long or else the plot seemed to drag in a few scenes. The queen's ice palace didn't look as intimidating as I imagined it would and it seemed a bit strange that they suddenly came across Aslan's army. Of course, you could weigh these scenes against the time where the humans first met the beavers, the battle towards the end (Aslan's army looked as if they copied Tom Cruise's tactics from the final battle in the Last Samurai) and well the problem was that with the battle, I also kept comparing it to Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy. (So generally the film had to compete with a childhood imagination and a Oscar winning film!)

The views of other people were quite enlightening - my wife said it was 'so-so' whilst my other friend went for 'ok.' However one of my footballing friends said it was brilliant and enjoyed himself immensely (definitely sure he's not read the book so does that make a difference?). Who's to say you won't enjoy it?

Haven't heard the words 'Turkish Delight' for years though...

Things to learn from this film: Never trust a woman who can conjure chocolate out of thin air... Or snow for that matter.
Rating: 5 /10

2005-11-02T15:08:00.000+08:00

GOAL
Featuring: Kuno Becker, Stephen Dillane, Anna Friel
Brief Synopsis: A kid gets 'discovered' by a scout whilst playing football (soccer if you must) in America and tries to make it in the big time of the English Premier League with the ever underperforming Newcastle United.

Comments: As a movie viewing footballer, I went into this film with few expectations and curious to see how all the football scenes would turn out. The plot was very simple and predictable with the appropriate sensei, the obligatory love interest, the teammate who doesn't like him but comes to respect him, the bad boy comes good, the things start off badly but if you persevere, life will improve and so on. Generally a lot of sporting Hollywood cliches so don't expect many surprises. As an expatriate, it was also fun to listen to a British accent again - even if the Geordie one isn't the most widely used in the country...

So the football scenes. Well if you want to a professional football player, it seems like dribbling is the way to go. Most of the football scenes were basically the young lad running, twisting and pirouetting like a ballet dancer whilst on the ball (playing one twos off obliging teammates). Although if you are going to be scouted to play in the Premier League at a late age, I think you are going to have do something special. Impressive juggling in front of the school - I wonder how many takes he took just do that?!?

There's a few minor walk on parts. Shearer has a little humourous snippet although I think the one with Zidane & Raul were better. Beckham's cockney accent makes an appearance too with telling words of wisdom (perhaps drawn from his own life experience). The only mistake I spotted was when the Liverpool team in the line up looked totally different to the actual team on the pitch (although I read there was another one re: the goalkeeper in the Fulham game).

I think any Premiership manager might also have a heart attack if their brand new signing who has only played 3 games gets asked to take a last minute free kick to either propel them to European glory or flounder in the UEFA cup...

Things to learn from this film: Don't judge a player on a rainy, muddy day.
Rating: 5.5 /10

2005-08-06T01:52:00.000+08:00

STEALTH
Featuring: Josh Lucas, Jessical Biel, Jamie Foxx
Brief Synopsis: Three top naval pilots get to fly some groovy planes and get a new wingman - an artifically engineered robot who can do things that no pilot can do. But, of course, something goes horrifically wrong...

Comments: When will people learn that artifical intelligence when struck by electricity will cause havoc? I mean, haven't we had like a million films with this sort of scenario already? (Which is, of course, the time where my brain struggles to think of any titles). Short Circuit is the only one that comes to mind but the robot actually turns out to be mankind's friend. The Terminator series was also artifical intelligence in robots but that was just human's being stupid by activating the programme and letting it be in charge of the weapons of the U.S.A.

Ok the film was better than what I thought it would be. I thought it was going to be wholly predictable but there was a slight twist which made it slightly more enjoyable. The planes look great, Jessica Biel looks great in a bikini, the blue eyes of Josh Lucas look great (as Grace tells me) oh, alright, dreamy then. The action is fast & furious with exciting missions (strangely I suspect something to do with Malaysian terroists as the censors went on a bit of cutting spree during the first mission), throw in a bit of ethics about machines fighting in war & nuclear dust and a double cross and you have the film. Oh and the obligatory love interest that you can see coming A MILE away too.

I'm trying to think if I should mention the twists but better not. Stealth was better than I expected but still not fantastic. It's fun enough for the boys with the women probably enjoying the guys and their testosterone. A little bit like an jet fighter version of The Fast & The Furious so expect about the same level of entertainment.

Things to learn from this film: Don't try to out-fly a machine!
Rating: 5.5 /10

2005-08-02T15:27:00.000+08:00

THE FANTASTIC FOUR
Featuring: Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Michael Chiklis, Julian McMahon
Brief Synopsis: A bunch of people go up to a space station and are given amazing special powers when something exciting happens. How they cope with their powers back on earth is a what the film continues to explore.

Comments: Well I missed 'a bit' of the film due to having afternoon tea with my mum & walked in on the bit where the special powers are just about coming to.

The special effects are great. It makes all the Marvel films worth watching. And the ones that you think are rubbish actually appear somewhat useful in the film - for instance Mr. Fantastic and stretchy limbs just seem well not productive. But in the film, you go ahhhh, it might not be so rubbish after all.

What makes the comics come go life are also the storylines and this one explored all the different people coming to terms with their respective powers. The storyline was quite basic but varied enough because of the fact that there were 5 different characters (also a bit sterotyped but life is like that). My brother loved The Invisible Woman and she is indeed rather attractive with her idealistic big sister/love interest role - do super heros wear such low cut tops though? It was also nice to finally know what Doctor Doom's special power was apart from wearing a mask too.

The film itself is ok. A bit of a no-brainer but with enough fed storylines to keep the kids happy with the special effects for the adults. I would expect a lot more out of the sequel though as this really does just feel like a warm up for something bigger. So don't go expecting anything special but just a simple McDonald's-esque film (but better than the rubbish toys they give you with the Happy Meal).

Things to learn from this film: When you say you will love your partner regardless of any situation, you should be careful in case he goes into space & returns looking like a big piece of rock.
Rating: 5.5 /10

2005-07-16T02:49:00.000+08:00

UNLEASHED
(also known as Danny the Dog)

Featuring: Jet Li, Bob Hoskins, Morgan Freeman
Brief Synopsis: A man who gets treated like a dog, fights like one when let off his err leash. But what happens when the owner gets killed?

Comments: The grittyness of Luc Besson's writing is evident; the gray, depressing world of criminality is once again familar together with the turn around in the lead character (although all his main characters are like that!). The familar setting in Britain was a nice return for this viewer as he was hearing more familiar accents and also seeing Spar!

It was a change for Jet Li to test stretch his acting skills alongside Oscar winner, Morgan Freeman & Bob Hoskins and I think he does OK in this dramatic role as he progresses from slave (or b*tch) to a free man - there is nothing extraordinary - simple expressions, reactions and actions. As usual his action sequences are impressive. In camera long shots, he really did look like a Chinese actor in his twenties although this was betrayed by one close range shot which really showed his thirty plus years.

I know some people say that his character is degrading and insulting to the Chinese (hence the change in title for Asian audiences) but Danny fights back and kicks a whole load of Western ass! I think these people kinda missed this point. However Grace (and pretty much every other Chinese person) says that he is just not as good as in his Chinese films.

Things to learn from this film: I thought the dialogue in the last scene involving Freeman, Hoskins & Li was very much like a dialogue between God, satan and man.
Rating: 4.75 /10

2005-07-11T16:37:00.000+08:00

HOSTAGE
Featuring: Bruce Willis, Jonathon Tucker, Ben Foster, Michelle Horn, Jimmy Bennett
Brief Synopsis: 3 youngsters from the wrong side of the track break into a house and find themselves in a tricky situation where they are surrounded by lots of law enforcement people.

Comments: The one word title should explain all.

But that would make a lousy film review so here are some further words:

Well my friend, Grace, said it was a typical Bruce Willis film - filthy language + lots of action. However it was fun to watch as the story was paced quickly together with its many twists and turns. You soon found yourself empathising with Jeff Talley (Willis), rooting for the kid (Bennett) and despising the truly evil bad guy Mars (Foster). With the twists and turns, there are quite a few jumpy bits and this is the first film that I watched where Grace screamed so much that I noticed (and probably the people in front of her too!!). However the sound system is terrible - I really wish Golden Screen Cinemas (Penang) would really sort out their speakers.

It did start to get a bit more cliched towards the final quarter of the film - actually the whole film is a bit of a cliche but it was only towards the end it was more noticable (with, of course, quite a few loopholes but you don't have time to think about them)!

I guess in the end, everyone was a hostage either literally or metaphorically. Talley with his family being held, the Smiths being held captive in their house, the younger brother stuck as a reluctant guard by his older brother, the (rich) bad guys as they want a certain DVD (no kidding!), Mr. Smith Sr. as he is trapped in his own body and Talley again as he is held captive by his past.

What was also very annoying was the censorship of the language. Firstly it was an 18 anyway. Secondly I think scenes showing people getting shot, thrown off a balcony and stabbed somewhere really painful are graphically violent - and frankly it is unnatural to see this sort of thing WITHOUT swearing. The censorship chopped up the dialogue to such a degree that watching it (in conjunction with the lousy sound system) made the first 5-10 minutes very irritating to watch.

Things to learn from this film: Molotov cocktails are a handy thing to have in a bad situation.
Rating: 5.75 /10

2005-07-10T04:07:00.000+08:00

INITIAL D
Featuring: Jay Chou, Anne Suzuki, Anthony Wong Chau-Sang, Chapman To, Edison Chen
Brief Synopsis: Does the local tofu driver become the best in his area against the superpowered machines that are Evos?

Comments: I know people have compared it to The Fast & The Furious and there are some similarities obviously what with racing cars, some of the camera angles, both films have humans etc. But what Initial D was a big hit in Japan with its Manga comic books and then films so it has a storyline of its own and not at all Hollywood influenced. However I've not read/seen any of the Manga comics/films so there will be no comparison from re: them.

Obviously the cars are the stars. The races are great fun to watch, they are always tense and whilst you have an idea of who is going to win, you never know how and in what style. And people will never look at the Toyota AE86 in the same sad way again. There could have been a problem with racing down the same road, again and again and again, in that cinematically, it could have been very boring and repetitive but race after race, you don't get that feeling at all.

If it was all about racing, it might have been dull but the storyline would still appeal to a non-car or non-racing fanatic. There are, of course, some driving explanations by the mentor but it is not enough to complicate (and bore) the film or take away the story of the main protangonists. There is also a vaguely romantic subplot involving a childhood sweetheart to parallel with his father's life. Jay Chou is a little stiff in his first major acting role (can someone look so relaxed whilst driving up/down such a windy road? - surely you must have at least 2 hands on the steering wheel) and unless this was deliberate, I have to say that I thought he played the character in way to show that he was err not mentally all there! The rest of them are fine if a little stereotyped (some of the other racers especially in their matching uniforms), with Chapman To again providing most of the laughs in the film.

Things to learn from this film: Every man has to find a world that they are comfortable in.
Rating: 7 /10

2005-06-30T14:32:00.000+08:00

WAR OF THE WORLDS
Featuring: Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin
Brief Synopsis: Aliens come and invade planet Earth. We follow one man's journey as he battles against them to keep his family safe.

Comments: The film is fairly engaging as we follow Ray Ferrier's (Cruise) journey. The audience is always kept in suspense as to what happen next and the characters are developed enough that we care what happens to them. It's quite jumpy - the lightning strikes, the ripples through the concrete road and so on so expect to be kept on the edge of your seats! The special effects are great (as befits someone of Spielberg's directoral ability) - the explosions and the robots are very realistic indeed. For this reason, I think it is worth watching in the cinema.

I guess the director could have gone either way with re: the plotline. 1. Independence Day where Will Smith saves the world or 2. Signs where it details of Mel Gibson's stuggle as he defends his backyard. He goes for character development and it pays off - helped no doubt by the fact that Tom Cruise is headlining the cast. Dakota Fanning does well as frightened little girl (I was trying not to think of what I would do with Ben in such a situation). Yin Ping wondered why Tim Robbins got such a small part though!

If you watch the film expecting a great military campaign and details thereof, you will be sadly disappointed. However so many other films kept coming to my mind as I was watching it. The alien invasion, I couldn't help compare to Independence Day (where the aliens have a plan). The scene in the basement of the barn with Ogilivy (Tim Robbins) reminded me of M. Night Shyamalan's 2002 film; Signs. The way the aliens scooped up the humans as fuel reminded me of the machines using humans as batteries in The Matrix. I really wanted to discuss it with other people but I don't think Yin Ping would have appreciated such a discussion in the middle of the film & cinema!

However the ending is terrible. It seemed like the director had just run out of ideas by the end of the film and decided to tie up because of well I don't know. Time? Expenses? Why wasn't Boston in pieces? How come his ex-wife's family survived? How did Robbie get out of being blown up to bits?!? Aren't the aliens a bit dumb? What did they want with the planet? So so many loose ends, it was (Dez shakes head)...

Things to learn from this film: Learning about cars might one day save your life from advancing aliens.
Rating: 6 /10

2005-06-27T16:01:00.000+08:00

THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
Featuring: Martin Freeman, Mos Def, Zooey Deschanel
Brief Synopsis: Earth gets blown up to make way for a highway and the last human finds out his best friend is an alien and they hitch a ride on an alien spaceship together. Cue lots of adventures.

Comments: Ok, I've read the book but it was years ago and I've forgotten most (well all) of it. And I read many reviews and opinions of this film which vaguely went along two lines. People who read the book hated it. The Americans loved it.

For sure, it's definitely original. There are some very amusing scenes (my favourites: when all the characters turn into cotton toys and the planet of the spades) but ultimately it was all pretty disjointed and it failed to captivate me. I really struggled to figure out why (lack of an engaging plot? lack of engaging characters?) but I just wanted to fall asleep about half-way through but was prevented by the very cold air conditioning. The characters are ok - Arthur Dent (Freeman) is fine as an ordinary docile human being but Trillion (Deschanel) is such a waste of space as his love interest. She is just so one dimensional.

Ultimately the ideas were good but the execution really wasn't there. I love the beaucratic aliens being the most bad guys though. I can imagine why the Americans like it - they don't come across this sort of humour much and so if they just have a little bit, they are ecstatic - and now they have a whole film! Or else its just the British accents.

Things to learn from this film: Towels are very important in intergalactic space travel.
Rating: 4 /10

2005-06-26T02:34:00.000+08:00

BATMAN BEGINS
Featuring: Christian Bale, Liam Neeson, Michael Caine, Katie Holmes
Brief Synopsis: Errr as you can guess from the title, it is about how Batman began. In other words this all happens before the first Batman movie...

Comments: Anything had to be better than that last tragic franchise, Batman & Robin. That was really, really terrible and possibly the only movie that I ever wanted to walk out of. Fortunately this one brings it back to the original darker theme that the first Batman film portrays. Gotham City is really dark, dirty and gritty - as is the film.

It really is a film of 2 halves - the first part is one of Ducard (Neeson) mentoring Bruce Wayne (Bale) in a role that is very similar to his role as mentor in Star Wars! It's all very cliched (training centre high up in the mountains anyone?) but I found it interesting enough. The second half of the film is where the action picks up in Gotham City and where Bale becomes Batman proper. The development of the Batcave, weapons and Batmobile held my attention unlike the romance between Rachel Dawes (Katie Holmes) and Bruce Wayne which just seemed like an something that the director was forced to have in the film ("must have obligatory romance partner!" say Warner Bros).

It's a fairly watchable film, not great for me but it is fittingly dark with its tongue in cheek humour. I thought the plot was ridiciously unbelievable (or at least unbelievable if you are watching the midnight showing). The secondary characters came across strongly but in Dr. Jonathon Crane a.k.a. The Scarecrow (Cillian Murphy) - he was a pretty convincing, psychotic baddie!

Things to learn from this film: Why do we fall? (watch the film to find out Why?)
Rating: 5.5 /10

2005-06-25T20:24:00.000+08:00

AHHH, IF I WERE A RICH MAN!
(French: AH! SI J'ETAIS RICHE)
Featuring: Jean-Pierre Darroussin, Valeria Bruni Tedeschi, Richard Berry
Brief Synopsis: A married couple are on the verge of divorce when the husband strikes big on the lottery. However in order not to lose the money in the settlement, he keeps his win secret from her.

Comments: It's always interesting to watch a foreign film to see how they approach old topics in this case; a comedy based on marital problems & winning the lottery. There are number of seperate explorations - the experiences of a poor man becoming rich but pretending to be poor, the exploration of different paths by the husband (Aldo) and wife (Alice) as they drift away from each other (for the man - obviously the money, for the woman - an affair with her husband's boss!) and the eternal question: does money bring happiness?

Despite this many topics, the film is straightforward in its plot with its subtle and humourous way of looking at marital difficulties. It was quite interesting as a married man and also for the fact that I had just seen Mr. & Mrs. Smith the previous week which also dealt with this topic. There is little in terms of plot complexity (although a few loose ends) and the characters are fairly straightforward but there were quite a few scenes that you could laugh aloud at; one where Aldo and his friend go to the rich man's toilet and the effects of weed on 'the never smoked it in his life before' Aldo. Quite a gentle relaxing film to watch in general.

However the most interesting aspect of watching the film was the way that the Malaysian board censored it. As it was a foreign film that was loaned out at the weekend, they obviously couldn't cut the film so when any steamy scenes came up, the man in the projector room put up a sheet of paper in front of the projector! So we could hear what was going on but we couldn't see anything! It was a bit stupid really but obviously seeing breasts or whatever would obviously pollute the Malaysian mind and cause them to do stupid things...

Thing to learn from this film: In your haste to leave to see another woman/man (that your partner doesn't know about), don't forget your mobile phone!
Rating: 6 /10

2005-06-23T01:45:00.000+08:00

I can't believe I've missed STAR WARS Episode 3: RETURN OF THE SITH!! They've pulled it out of the cinemas already!!! Arghhhhhhhhh

2005-06-10T16:41:00.000+08:00

MR. AND MRS. SMITH
Featuring: Brad Pitt, Angeline Jolie
Brief Synopsis: Husband and wife work as assassins but don't know that the other half are working in the same field. What happens when they find out?

Comments: The premise of the film is that a married couple are having a difficult time and work through their marital difficulties. But as they are both trained killers, there are a lot of umm explosions, bullet holes, fights interdispersed amongst the forced counselling. The plotline of the film is rather secondary to the new relationship between the married couple who were finding things very sedentary at the start of the film. And the chemistry does fly between Brad and Angeline as they pull of their respective roles of laid back husband and control freak wife in a realistic manner (well as far as you can get with them being both top notch assassins).

Obviously as part of a married couple (in the right range of marriage in relation to the film as it turns out!), it was even more interesting for my wife and I. There was even a scene where Angeline asks Brad what he thinks of the curtains and he gives a non commital answer - at which point my wife leaned over to me and said, "that's you." I would like to say that is by far the closest anyone has ever said when comparing me to the hunky Brad! The exploration of the marriage is quite unique in an action genre, especially with the film aimed at the young adult market - who more and more believe less in working through problems and more interested in divorce as a solution.

As a big fan of the Bourne Identity, I was also interested to see how the director of that film, Doug Liman, would handle a BIG multi million dollar project like this. There are some trademark Doug shots with the hand-held cameras, the close range fighting, some semblance of real life weapon control and big explosions when you least expect them. And there are some brilliantly crafted scenes where the humour is laced with pepper.

Things to learn from this film: For passionate sex, have a fight with the wife. Err...
Rating: 7 /10

2005-06-09T23:31:00.000+08:00

THE INTERPRETER
Featuring: Sean Penn, Nicole Kidman
Brief Synopsis: An interpreter working at the United Nations hears a plot to assassinate an African head of state. A secret service agent has to work out if she is telling the truth.

Comments: What a week. Again another film with strong character performances! Yet again the plot takes a backseat, and although it is of course necessary to drive the film onwards, it is the South African accented Nicole and the strong, fairly silent Sean who will burn most brightly in the memory when you step out of the cinema. Whilst Nicole changes from an initially strong to vulnerable character, I feel that Sean Penn does an even better job as he slowly reveals his humane side to her after questioning her story and motives at the beginning.

Whilst the plot is slightly ropy (you always know this is the case when the person you watched it with asks, "why did that person do that" or "how did that person know that" and you have to pause and think for a long time before coming up with a reply), the setting of The Interpreter in the United Nations actual building helps to add realism to the whole setting. Of course, the various difficult situations in certain African countries (no, I can't name them!) also add a element of realism to the plot - although not wholly convincing (surely the said country is in a bit of bother if all the main prospective leaders are dead/in prison!). But the tension does build up nicely and when it gets to the bus scene - don't tell me, you weren't getting twitchy at that moment!

Things to learn from this film: Always check to see if there are light bulbs before you switch press the light switch. Bathrooms seem to be ideal places to hide guns too.
Rating: 6.5 /10

2005-06-04T03:16:00.000+08:00

A LOT LIKE LOVE
Featuring: Ashton Kutcher, Amanda Peet
Brief Synopsis: Will the 2 people ever fall in love or just drift in and out of each other's lives forever?

Comments: These are slightly reworked comments of my friend, Grace, after we watched the film.

The film touched the heart so much so that she used the same part of the body again in describing the film as heart warming. At one point in the film, it made her cry! As romantic comedies go, it was a decent effort with the main characters having good screen chemistry together and the plot was not at all complicated. Straight forward plots are sometimes a good thing if only for the fact that they are easy to follow and most especially if you are catching the midnight showing! Ashton Kutcher is also cute (not my words!) in his gangly, boyish way whilst Amanda Peet is not to be sniffed at (err that might sound wrong but I'm running out of time as I have to go out soon). My musically inclined friend also pointed out that the soundtrack might be worth buying although if you don't like Bon Jovi, you might want to reconsider that statement.

Things to learn from this film: The musical instrument that most impresses the girls is the guitar. Must remember to tell Ben when he is older.
Rating: 6.5 /10

2005-05-27T21:30:00.000+08:00

MADAGASCAR
Featuring: Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, Jada Pinkett Smith, David Schwimmer
Brief Synopsis: A bunch of animals from New York City end up on a ship hijacked by penguins then stranded on the said island off the coast of Africa.

Comments: People around me were laughing like crazy. The guys behind me were laughing so hard that it was difficult to tell if they were serious or they were taking the micky (the people with me assured me it was not fake). But the most the film got out of me was a smile or a knowing nod. Is it because I'm a miserable git? It might be because we were on the second row of the cinema (although admittedly there was a still a bit of distance between the screen and our feet). Or I could have had, at the back of my mind, the fact that somehow I had bought one extra ticket without noticing when collecting them (I asked for six, I inexplicably received and paid for seven). And I was constantly thinking of the book, The Life of Pi, and its stand on animals in zoos.

Oh the film? ;)

It's a fast flowing film. The pace moves along quickly which helps you because how much can you really develop the characters of zoo animals? The film is likeable but it wasn't as impressive as The Incredibles, for example. It's fluidity is somehow too fast but it makes up for this with lots of little cameo ideas which satisfy our instant appetite ("welcome the New York Giants!"). The friendship between Alex and Marty is the main crux of the film with other animals having their own agendas to add to the Madagascar mixer. Sasha Baron Cohen deserves a mention as King Julian because he really does bring his lively personality to his even more charismatic, dancing character which make the rest of them rather pale by comparison. And it's a short film because I was quite surprised when the guy came down the stairs to open the exit doors (which is something that really irritates me about Malaysian cinemas). Generally it's a nice enough film to put a grin on your face when you come out but it isn't going to make someone write a thesis on it (unless it's on the Dreamworks technology that makes the water look so darned realistic).

After this one showing, I can't say I would recommend it wholeheartedly but it might worth a second viewing (in a higher seating position!) to see if my opinion would change. Sadly though, I can't see this happening any time soon - especially with Return of the Sith not being scrutinized by my eyes yet! - so you might have to go with this review. What was also going through my mind was - should I take Ben for a viewing sometime before it gets shelved? The answer was meandering across the line of positive and negativeness until there was a scene where EVERY SINGLE animal started spitting water! Yeah, that's really not the sort of thing you want to encourage in a five year old and it's exactly the sort of thing that they would pick up and hold on to once they walk out of the auditorium!

Things to learn from this film: Never underestimate a penguin. And all the animals that like the cold are on the North Pole.
Rating: 5 /10

2005-05-15T18:05:00.000+08:00

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN
Featuring: Orlando Bloom, Liam Neeson, Eva Green, Edward Norton
Brief Synopsis: Set in the time of the Crusades, a man goes to the city of Jerusalem seeking forgiveness, ends up defending it.

Comments: It was a film that I wasn't desperate to see so I went to this film with no expectations. I knew little about it except for two things; it involved the Crusades and the Holy City + it had the rather dashing Orlando Bloom.

When I came out of the cinema, I wasn't unhappy with the film nor was I raving about it. It was quite an average film which is why I have struggled with this review from the start. On the positive points, there are some exciting battle scenes with lots of blood and gore due to the swords prevalent in that period as well as some interesting tactical manouveres in defending the walls. Historically it was a portrayal of a period that I knew little about so it was slightly educational for me too. It was easy to relate to the strong male cast as they struggled through and worked through their respective male roles. The flip side of the coin was that it was very well normal with nothing outstanding to recommend it. The respective male roles were very predictable (the hero, the greedy villain, the wise king, the gallant father etc.) and in all honesty so was the storyline. However it kept me intrigued enough to stay until the end as I had thought about leaving early for football practice. There's lots of Orlando Bloom to keep the ladies satisfied and enough swordplay for the men but unless you are really into either of these issues, you might want to watch it as a last resort.

Thing to learn from this film: To get your point across; give your big, eloquent speech and then slap the recipient across the face.
Rating: 5 /10

2005-05-10T15:17:00.000+08:00

XXX2
Featuring: Ice Cube, Samuel L. Jackson, William Defoe
Brief Synopsis: A power play within the U.S. government to bring down the president results in a lot of fighting, shootings and chases by a special ops deep undercover agent.

Comments: Don't go to this film with high expectations and you won't be disappointed. After viewing the trailer on the internet (ahh the wonders of high speed internet access), it looked like a film with little to no plot but with excess amounts of testosterone in the form of well fighting, shooting and chases. A film staring Ice Cube is hardly going to be gunning for the Oscars, is it? If your expectations are set to the appropriate level, the film is actually ok (although if you are a girl, it will not be your thing - trust me) as it moves fairly quickly without too much dialogue but has a few twists to surprise the viewer and keep him interested.

The performances are respectable. Ice Cube is all moody, hard and cool like the dream black guy with Scott Speedman being the funny, science geek in tow. William Defoe does a pretty good impression of the Green Goblin (Spiderman) as the political protagonist (technically not an impression if he played the Green Goblin in the first place, right?). Samuel L. Jackson is obviously in it just for the ride and looks happy to be hanging with the rapping crowd. Sunny Mabrey does look very good in some of the dresses she wears but her counterpart, Nona Gayle has the flimest part in the film as Ice Cube's old flame. Really all she does is parade around in some tight clothing, look lustfully at Ice Cube and talk about technical bits of cars. Poor girl, can hardly have been a strain on her acting skills.

Impressively there are no nude scenes although there are lots of innuendos. However there are a lot of bullets but not a lot of blood. It had with a very poor showing in the U.S. market which either shows how poor the film was or how saturated the market is with this sort of thing. There was some fairly outlandish things happening such as a car driving on railway tracks, a helicopter somehow making its way into a prison courtyard, a tank get tank-jacked. Innovative but probably too much for even today's youth culture to believe. Perhaps the strangest thing is that I never saw the first XXX films...

Thing to learn from this film: A man in prison would kill for a hamburger and fries. Or is that just a black man?
Rating: 5 /10

2005-03-22T14:01:00.000+08:00

HITCH
Featuring: Will Smith, Kevin James, Eva Mendes, Amber Valletta
Brief Synopsis: A man teaches other men how to get 3 dates with the women of their dreams.

Comments: Wowzers - it's been so long since I been to see a film that I nearly forgot what it was like to be in a cinema! It was the choice between this romantic comedy or the Oscar winning Baby and it was decided by me to choose this one purely to warm up for a more serious film next time!
OK, no getting away from it. This film reeks of cheese. BUT it is done very cleverly with the normal predictable situations being spun a little differently. The interplay between Will Smith and Kevin James is excellent comedy, with my thoughts of the teaching of dance and first date kiss scenes coming to mind. Actually their relationship is stronger than the relationship between the men and women of their dreams, for me. Eva Mendes is ok but I spent most of the film trying to think if her hispanic looks had any similarities with my brother's girlfriend!
Nothing spectacular regarding the plot although I thought Will Smith was wrong in his assessment of his own role in the relationships at the end of the film - he was the spark that helped light the fire in my opinion. I actually enjoyed the outlandish dancing at the end if only for the fact that it makes me feel a little less bad about my own moves. Cough. Anyway it is a cute film that I recommend for single (guys in particular!) and dating couples but not really one for married couples - I don't know why but that was one of my main thoughts coming out of the cinema!

Thing to learn from this film: There are so many things to learn that you must really watch it for yourself but the first one to come to mind is (umm Derek thinks); make your existence obvious to the lady that you like (obviously in a loud, positive way!).
Rating: 7 /10

2005-02-14T21:47:00.000+08:00

CONSTANTINE
Featuring: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz
Brief Synopsis: Supernatural man commits suicide and is sent back to earth where he tries to get to heaven by sending satan's minions back to hell.

Yin Ping's Comments Re-worked by Me: Disturbing. As a Christian I would seriously question where all the biblical stuff came from. For me, it was similar to the the Di Vinci Code where the author/screenwriter seemed to have to have been very elaborate in their text/script. But whichever way you look at it, it still sounds blashemous. For me, the film doesn't really take into account God at all - we just see Keanu conversing with satan (and yes, you don't picture satan all in white). I didn't like the fact that after watching the film, viewers may see Keanu as some sort of hero/idol in his role as a superpowered exorist.

The film is a thriller with jumpy moments, not brutel, but jumpy in an eriee sort of way. It reminds me of the The Omen on a lesser scale in the way you can feel the evil off the screen. The plot was intriguging and it was an interesting portrayal of what hell was like. But overall I didn't like it. For instance, I might watch Devils Advocate again but Constantine, no. It did have impressive special effects, and the plot does keep you on your toes but for me, it is too disturbing.
Thing to learn from this film: Don't take any biblical facts away from this film as the director has taken many of his own interpretations.
Rating: 6 /10

2005-01-20T22:35:00.000+08:00

NATIONAL TREASURE
Featuring: Nicolas Cage, Sean Bean, Diane Kruger
Brief Synopsis: 2 men in competition look for a very big pot of gold with clues hidden round various U.S. monuments.

Comments: The critics hated it but the audiences loved it. I was swayed to the latter side. I could understand why the critics didn't like it with a thin plotline, flimsy characters and the dubious clues hidden around various aspects of American history. However what the audience enjoyed was the fast pacing of the film as the action moved thick and fast without giving you much time to dwell on the implausability of clues being hidden on the Declaration of Independence, dollar bills and big bells. The characters are also a nice mixed bunch with the various obligatory characters; 3rd generation heroic national treasure hunter, romantic love interest who is also into history and geeky, tech guy who makes the funny comments. The only surprise is that the bad guy doesn't want world domination. It's very much fast food entertainment - you know it's not that good for you but in the end, you just can't help enjoying yourself. Go in with low expectations and enjoy the Disneyland roller coaster ride.

Thing to learn from this film: You should really try to keep the guy who understands all the clues on your side.
Rating: 6 /10

2005-01-14T16:56:00.000+08:00

BRIDGET JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON
Featuring: Renee Zellweger, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant
Brief Synopsis: Middle aged woman has perfect boyfriend but then gets all twitchy about the relationship.

Comments: The film was ok, Yin Ping much preferred the first one though. Renee was excellent as the air headed Bridget (I can't believe how much weight she put on for the role) although her character is incredibly dim. My wife refused to believe anyone is that dumb! Colin and Hugh do alright as boyfriend and wannabe boyfriend but the script lacked that little bit of ummph for me. There were a few interesting relationship issues brought up, namely trust and committment, but overall there was nothing outstanding. Possibly unlucky to use Thailand as a holiday destination with re: current affairs and I'm sure a Thai prison is much worse than portrayed on screen. I'm also mystified why the 2 men are falling for her when she is completely ditzy because I can't really say I see the attraction. Still one man's lead is another man's gold... or something like that?!
Thing to learn from this film: "I happen to have a high regard for your wobbly bits" or a man who is sleeping with you probably doesn't mind seeing you naked in the daytime.
Rating: 5/10

2005-01-04T14:33:00.000+08:00

A WORLD WITHOUT THIEVES
Featuring: Andy Lau, Rene Liu, Ge You
Brief Synopsis: One of two thieves come to protect an innocent chap's life savings from other thieves on his train journey back home.

Comments: The brief synopsis really doesn't do justice to this film because there are so many things going on at once from the progression of the relationship between the two lead characters, to the naive, innocence of the young man, to the rivalry between the gangs of thieves on the train and it all came together to work really well. Actually at first, I thought I was in the wrong film as I expected a 1940s setting and here there were handheld video cameras on screen! But my attention was captivated as the film progressed with the majestic landscapes adding to the feel of the film.

Andy Lau and Rene Liu are perfectly cast as they struggle with their choices throughout the film (to protect the boy or to rip him off in Andy Lau's case) and the is it a romance or not subplot. The innocence of the simple country boy is also well portrayed (and debated) as are the mutiple guises of the leader of the baddy thieves portrays. The girl in his group is also very cute in her own way! And let's not forget the fast moving hand scenes where wallets are stolen and fights are well fought. I also like the fact that the Chinese film industry are not afraid to have unhappy endings unlike their Hollywood counterparts.
Thing to learn from this film: Sometimes there is smoke without fire.
Rating: 7/10

2004-12-31T17:30:00.000+08:00

KUNG FU HUSTLE
Featuring: Stephen Chow, Lam Chi Chung, Yuen Qui, Hsiao Huang
Brief Synopsis: The Axe Gang try to take out Pig Sty Alley in this 1940s comedy.

Comments: I always wonder if these films are better if you don't have to read the subtitles all the time. I'm sure they are. Anyway it was an interesting blend of comedy and at times, brutal axe murders (cut by those lovely Malaysian censors) interdispersed with some serious martial art moves. If I was watching this film by myself on dvd, I'm not sure I would laugh so much but being part of the cinema audience, I found it reasonably enjoyable. The characters were nicely type-cast with their duel personalities in particular the landlady and the tailor. But the mute ice cream seller role was so under-developed that I really didn't feel that it was worth her being in the film. Could have saved a load in wages there!
Thing to learn from this film: Never underestimate the landlady.
Rating: 5.5/10

2004-12-24T02:22:00.000+08:00

MEET THE FOCKERS
Featuring: Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Barbara Streisand
Brief Synopsis: The in-laws meet.

Comments: I didn't expect this film to be as good as the first one which was a pretty big sleeper hit really. So I tried to lower my expectations as much as possible. And really it still wasn't that good. The film featured crude teenageary sex based jokes most of the time and it wasn't as classy as the original. When it's mainly a four year old saying ass hole getting the laughs, I think that it's getting a bit desperate. However there are some cute little moves (test that Kelvar reinforced window) but generally I feel that they are few and far between. However it is interesting to note that although the film focuses mainly on Greg Focker, it's always the CIA agent Jack Brynes who learns the most by the end of the film: with regards to how he relates to the people around him. It's watchable but certainly not suitable for young teens. And for anyone who has ever read the Lost World (Michael Crichton), the truck in the film is what I imagine the truck in the book to be!
Thing to learn from this film: Ears are erogenous. Anyone care to agree?
Rating: 4/10

2004-12-11T02:55:00.000+08:00

OCEAN'S 12
Featuring: Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Catherine Zeta Jones + many, many others.
Brief Synopsis: The baddy from the first film, Terry Benedict, wants all his stolen money back. So they have to commit another heist but this time in Europe.

Comments: First and foremost, this is not a heist movie as in the first one where the major focus is on planning and committing the robbery. This time, the focus is more on the characters and their interaction than the actual stealing itself although that is, of course, still important when you owe over $100m. I can understand why they went this way and generally I found that it worked. It's by no means an Oscar winning film but I enjoyed the little jokes and interplay, enough to go and see it twice! The Frenchman (Vincent Cassel) is one of my favourite characters this time round (as is true of The Matrix Revolutions) and the Welsh lass, Catherine Zeta Jones, is pleasing to the eye too. Strangely when she is walking in front of the private jet, my eyes were just drawn to the fact that she was wearing high heeled shoes in that whole scene! That laser corridor is pretty impressive too. A few flaws though - how did the people in prison know what was going on outside even though they were banged up?
Thing to learn from this film: Once a thief, always a thief? Sorry, couldn't think of much.
Rating: 7/10

2004-11-22T13:50:00.000+08:00

THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE
Featuring: Denzil Washington, Meryl Streep, Liev Schreiber
Brief Synopsis: An army hero to be vice president. But is all what is seems?

Comments: First and foremost, don't watch this film for a good night out. However if you are into consipiracy theories and all that that entails, this is right up your street. It is well done thriller, with the layers of suspense packed onto occassional lingering scary images (how can anyone not wince at the drilling scene) and excellent acting. As a viewer you really can't fault the effort of the director or actors or script writers but I really just couldn't enjoy this well paced film. The viewer is certainly drawn into the life and dilemmas of Ben Marco and his fellow soldiers but fun it aint.
Thing to learn from this film: Is there anything under that scar on your back?
Rating: 4/10

2004-11-13T14:04:00.000+08:00

ALEXANDER
Featuring: Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie, Jared Leto
Brief Synopsis: An Oliver Stone epic on the life of Alexander, King of Macedonia from a time gone by.

Comments: This is very long. Whilst I was cavtivated by the 3 hour epic Heat and intrigued by Lord of the Rings, Alexander made me want to leave the screen several times on account of how uninteresting the film is. Obviously it's not the intention of Oliver Stone and he does his best to get our attention with several subplots going on in Alexander's life - the parents bickering, his relationship with his best friend's thighs, his quest for expanding his kingdom resulting in the subsequent battle scenes. But it just doesn't hook the viewer for some reason. It felt like one long history lesson and like history lessons at school, you really didn't care that much - you can tell by the fact that I was sms-ing in the middle of the film. The actors do their job alright so I guess the fault lies with the way the story is told. However if you substituted Alexander for George Bush, it does make for more interesting viewing! One for historians to discuss, one for other people to dismiss.
Thing to learn from this film: Parents hold the key to their children's future. Scary!
Rating: 1/10

Extra comment (Celia)
Right, I've watched Alexander and boy was I disappointed. Not only it is 3 hours long, I find it to be rather dry with uninteresting scripts and story line. Overall, i think it's over-rated. I expected to be 'blown away' (like Randy Jackson) but it was just 'aw......for me'. Besides, where's Val Kilmer in the movie???? (Dez - it turns out he is the King)

2004-11-13T02:12:00.001+08:00

THE INCREDIBLES
Featuring: Craig T. Wilson, Holly Hunter, Jason Lee
Brief Synopsis: The Parr family are forced into retirement but are slowly drawn out of their suburban life by mysterious waif-like lady.

Comments: A very enjoybable film but it lacked that special spark that would propel it into the absolute must see category. Maybe all the pre-film hype raised my expectations too high (you know hype is big if McDonalds' happy meals are involved) but I came out still wanting a little more (perhaps a bit harsh although this could also be due to the fact that I did catch a half past midnight showing). The storyline is very family orientated but that's not a bad thing when you consider the plot of something like Shark Tale. The film doesn't rely too much on spoofing either with jokes made from the situations that the characters find themselves in. However there is a very James Bond look to some scenes with the lifts and monorails coming very much to mind!
Thing to learn from this film: Capes are not a good idea in a superhero costume.
Rating: 8/10

2004-11-09T16:03:00.000+08:00

TAXI
Featuring: Queen Latifah, Jimmy Fallon, Jennifer Esposito
Brief Synopsis: Useless cop and fast talking/driving taxi driver team up to catch Brazilian bank robbers.

Comments: Don't watch this film. It's rare that a film is so bad that it makes me want to walk out in the middle of it but this managed to stir those thoughts into my head. I just couldn't enjoy it on any level. Sure there were fast car chases, sexy looking women (with one scene having the leggy bank robber searching the woman cop very throughly) and well those were pretty much the highlights. Bad script, the jokes didn't work for me, the supporting crew wasn't making the film any better and I find it very difficult to recommend this to anyone. Go and get the original French version instead - it's supposed to be a classic (or else it can't be much worse than this).
Thing to learn from this film: There is no Castro Street in Cuba.
Rating: 2/10

2004-10-26T16:19:00.000+08:00

LADDER 49
Featuring: Jason Phoenix, John Travolta
Brief Synopsis: The life of a fireman in the United States.

Comments: A very ordinary film about an ordinary man which is only worth watching because of the occupation that he takes. The plot is unremarkable and well, dull in all honesty with many clichés but the film is held up by the emotion that goes with such an extraordinary job with exciting firefights and rescues, the odd disaster/accident and his relationship with girlfriend/wife. But still, this works to a level that nearly saw me shed a few tears (I said NEARLY!) towards the end of the film. Can’t fault the acting, with the script that they had to work with (!), but it’s a very quick fix sort of film that doesn’t do much except show the hazards of being in the noble profession.
Thing to learn from this film: Never underestimate the unpredictability of a fire.
Rating: 5/10

2004-10-25T15:17:00.000+08:00

FARENHEIT 9/11
Featuring: Michael Moore
Brief Synopsis: The director explores the presidency of George Bush before and after the events of 9/11.

Comments: My first documentary film seen in the cinema and one I’ve been interested to watch (together with Bowling for Columbine which still eludes me) for quite a while. The context of watching the film is interesting as my viewing was a week or so before the U.S. general election was to take place. After watching it, I am amazed how anyone could vote for George Bush! Obviously Michael Moore is presenting points from a very polarized point of view but still many of the issues he raises are still valid (the one concerning how many politicians have sent their kids to Iraq is possibly the most searing in my own memory). It was also a difficult subject to address as troops in Iraq currently fight the war that he presents as led by a dozy president and he manages to not cross too many lines in this potentially volatile subject. Finally it is a subject that is obviously close to his heart as he searches for answers in little nooks and crannies all over the world all the way up to his hometown. An eventful little film that I would find difficult to rate as entertainment (I was very fidgety after 20 minutes waiting for something to happen!) but interestingly informative.
Thing to learn from this film: Don’t ever get on the wrong side of Michael Moore.
Rating: 5.5/10

2004-10-22T23:45:00.000+08:00

THE TERMINAL
Featuring: Tom Hanks, Catherine Zeta Jones
Brief Synopsis: Man gets stuck in an airport for several months.

Comments: I watched this on dvd many weeks ago and I didn’t think much of it. However the dodgy copy didn’t do the film much justice to the big screen version which is better for the fact that you can see all the details although obviously the plotline is the same. It’s difficult to pigeonhole this film as it straddles so many boundaries: reveling in the dramatic situation of being stuck in an airport, the romantic play with the stewardess and the comedy of a foreigner being restricted to an American airport with no English. It’s not a bad film per se but I find it difficult to say it is a must see film. The performances from the actors are more than believable but it lacks that special spark for me. An enjoyable, pleasant enough film to see with your girlfriend or wife.
Thing to learn from this film: Keep any vouchers that you urgently need in a secure place before helping anybody.
Rating: 6.75/10

2004-10-19T14:57:00.000+08:00

DODGEBALL
Featuring: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Christine Taylor
Brief Synopsis: A bunch of underdogs at a local gym need a lot of money to stop their place from being turned into a car park by...the rival, high tech gym.

Comments: Don't go in expecting anything serious! I went just wanting a laugh and got a barrel load. It's stupid and silly and funny. It's not the best comedy I've ever seen but the whole thing is so farcical that it can't help bring a smile to your face at least 3 or 4 times. Ben Stiller steals the show with his character who is so bone headed, it's brilliant and the rest of the cast conjure up laughs along the way. Some superb cameos from famous people with my favourites coming from the German team and the Tour De France winner. Go and watch this but be prepared for a silly film. And it would be interesting to try Dodgeball...
Thing to learn from this film: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
Rating: 6/10

2004-10-10T03:07:00.000+08:00

SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW
Featuring: Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie
Brief Synopsis: Giant robots start appearing from no-where and the Captain along with the reporter, Polly Perkins, try and figure out what the heck is going on.

Comments: Well I watched this film at 2 o clock in the morning so not absolutely exactly what I remembered! It was a very unique film with the graphics and visual effects of an old fashioned style. There were certain aspects that reminded me of an old Humphrey Bogart film (although I’ve never watched one!) especially whenever there was a close up of Polly with her hair shining. It feels very family orientated but not to the detriment of the adult audience. The cast are stellar in their performances and the interplay between the 2 lead characters make the film the success it is. I found the science fiction parts (robots and aeroplanes) very difficult to believe but it was enlightening to watch a cartoon come to life as it were. It’s hard to know what to say but when I came out, I felt quite happy compared to the depressed mood when I entered! Enjoyable for me but might not be everyone’s cup of tea.
Thing to learn from this film: Chewing gum can come in handy when giant robots come to kidnapp you.
Rating: 7/10

2004-10-02T19:11:00.000+08:00

THE BOURNE SUPRAMACY
Featuring: Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Brain Cox, Joan Allen, Julia Stiles
Brief Synopsis: David Bourne gets angry and chases down the people in the U.S. government.

Comments: Regardless of what anyone said or what I read, I was going to see this film in the cinema after throughly enjoying the first one and reading all 3 very chunky novels. It is still a good show but perhaps not as great as the first because the expectancy level and surprise element was taken away in the same way that the Matrix series progressed. However it is still worth watching although my wife said that once the romantic link was broken, that made the film a lot less interesting for her. All the characters were again fairly believable by the decent acting. The fight scenes weren't for me as memorable as the first film, too close up for my liking, and whilst the car chase was again tricky, the same goes for that. I might have enjoyed it more if the sound system was a bit better as well. Slight plot picking - how does a man go from Italy to Germany by car without having his passport detected again?
Thing to learn from this film: Switching driving seats could save your life.
Rating: 6.75/10

2004-09-25T01:56:00.000+08:00

NEW POLICE STORY
Featuring: Jackie Chan, Nicholas Tse, Daniel Wu
Brief Synopsis: A gang rob banks and terrorize the Hong Kong police force who in turn attempt to catch them.

Comments: It looked interesting from the trailer and it isn’t actually a terrible film. The problem is that it is so clichéd with wayward kids and the cop that is in remorse over past mistakes to incredibly cheesy romantic moments. Jackie Chan tries to come across into serious acting with his drunk cop role and it really doesn’t work for me. It is not only overdone but it is overdone with music layered on top (and if the actor has to explain their emotion, I always see it as a bad sign). It being a Jackie Chan film, there are the usual pre-requisite stunts to stun the audience as well as an interesting grab the cops scene. Nicolas Tse has a nice debut in this Police Story series as the mysterious stranger from nowhere but otherwise many of the characters are instantly forgettable.
Thing to learn from this film: When it looks as if the bus is not on under control, go and check!
Rating: 5/10

2004-09-11T13:46:00.000+08:00

WICKER PARK
Featuring: Josh Hartnett, Rose Byrne, Diane Kruger, Matthew Lillard
Brief Synopsis: 2 guys, 2 girls, a lot of romantic/stalker interest.

Comments: This really is such a strange film that it difficult to decide what to type. It reminds me of a Booker prize book that I once borrowed off Kiley where each chapter is told from a different person’s viewpoint with the story moving along. This naturally makes reading or watching difficult as we expect a linear storyline with the occasional flashbacks that are fill in the background. However with this method of movie telling, it made the first third of the film very confusing (and a little boring) to watch but after the viewer understands what is going on, the realization dawns that it a clever and fairly original way to tell the story.
It is a romance story worth telling as romantic interests and desires fly all over the room. The storyline is mainly driven by Josh Hartnett’s character at the beginning but we are slowly introduced into the viewpoints of the three other protagonists as time rumbles on. At the end of the film, both my wife and I agreed it was enjoyable but disagreed on whether it was worth watching again if given the chance. I argued yes on the grounds of The Sixth Sense where the beginning would now make sense in the context of the whole film but she thought not because the surprise factor would no longer be there although the boyish Josh Hartnett would!
Thing to learn from this film: You can’t make somebody love you.
Rating: 8/10

2004-09-01T15:14:00.000+08:00

ALIEN VS PREDATOR
Featuring: Alexa Woods, Sebastian de Rosa, Charles Bishop Weyland
Brief Synopsis: Predators come from outer space to hunt Alien creatures. Human beings get caught in between with rather fatal consequences.

Comments: Frankly if you have never heard of either of these two fictional space creatures, you really shouldn't watch this film. And even if you have, enter the cinema with the lowest of low expectations. The storyline and acting is decidedly average (there is truely astounding scene about the Predator species being worshipped as Gods! And why would anyone want to take sub automatic machine guns into a pyramid? Buried beneath the ice. In Antartica.) but the only thing that people want to see is the fighting. There's not enough of it in my opinion but what there is, it's not too bad. And isn't Alien impregnation very much like a sexually transmitted disease?
Thing to learn from this film: If you are a man, you don't stand a chance against Aliens!
Rating: 4.5/10

2004-08-21T14:51:00.000+08:00

COLLATERAL
Featuring: Tom Cruise, Jamie Foxx
Brief Synopsis: An assassin gets a taxi driver to give him a ride.

Comments: So good that I watched it twice in the cinema in one week! A very typical Michael Mann film with fuzzy close ups, shaking camera movements combined with sweeping camera angles and overhead city shots which only helped to enhance the storyline and the characters played by the actors. Tom Cruise is excellent as the clinical assassin but Jamie Foxx outdoes him as he portrays the cab driver who lurches and adapts I-Ching style to each situation that is thrown at him. Possibly an Oscar for best supporting male? There does feel as if there might be a few plot flaws but it carries along in it’s gritty style that makes you concentrate on each scene as it occurs. One of my favourite films of the year.
Thing to learn from this film: Don’t lie to your mother. It will come back to bite you one day.
Rating: 9/10

2004-08-11T17:56:00.000+08:00

I, ROBOT
Featuring: Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan, James Cromwell, Alan Tudyk
Brief Synopsis: A man appears to be killed by a robot which is not supposed to be possible due to the 3 laws programmed into them. Will Smith, as a police detective, tries to find out if it is true.

Comments: I unashamedly enjoyed this film despite its shortcomings. It ain’t going to win an Oscar but it was fun whilst I was there as the pace was always constantly pushing on to new things without leaving time to think about any possible loopholes. Will Smith cones across as a robot suspicious policeman well enough (although my wife might think to put him in a psychiatric clinic due to his paranoia) and probably enhancing his sex appeal with several I’m only wearing boxer shorts scenes. It was a throw away back to the detective films and it reminded me of Payback (starring Ben Affleck, Uma Thurman) in the way that the main protagonist was following the clues all over the place and Minority Report (Tom Cruise) in that they were both futuristic, featuring accused detectives and lot of robots. But I feel that this was probably better than both although I would prefer if you don’t tell Steven Spielburg!

Thing to learn from this film: Don't put robots in charge. Will people never learn the lessons from the Terminator series?
Rating: 7/10

2004-08-07T14:00:00.000+08:00

HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS
Featuring: Andy Lau, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Zhang Ziyi
Brief Synopsis: Essentially a love story, it traces the case of a girl caught mid assassination and her escape from the Imperial army.

Comments: First rule when watching Chinese films is to check if they have English subtitles. Settling with my wife on a couple’s chair for the first time (she was excited about seeing it), I knew I was in trouble after the first conversation, and spent the rest of the film like one of my English language students – trying to figure out what the heck is going on (and how good looking Zhang Ziyi really is). If it was in Cantonese I would stand a chance but as a mainland Chinese film, it was all in Manderin and well I would have better chances as a defender against Michael Owen!

Fortunately the plot moves along a comfortable pace but not understanding the conversations made it impossible to know what was really happening. However the fight scenes made up for the lack of plot understanding and were of a high standard, impressing me. All the main characters come across well enough but it seemed that the storyline wasn’t as tight as could be (after discussing the film with my better half who could at least read the subtitles).
Thing to learn from this film: Bamboo shoots thrown really hard are pretty damned dangerous.
Rating: 5/10

2004-07-23T15:30:00.000+08:00

SPIDERMAN 2
Featuring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Alfred Molina
Brief Synopsis: A bad accident turns a nice doctor into one a wee bit power hungry. This obviously has bad consequences for New York where the webbed one has to come and save the day (not to mention make money and deal with girl issues).

Comments: The film disappointed me. There were several scenes to the film that I liked; the lift conversation was a definite highlight together with the train fight. The development of the relationships between the characters such as Peter Parker, Mary Jane and Harry Osbourne was also a plus point (plus the fact that none of them are stunning supermodels!) as was the humble Dr Otto Octavius (obviously before he turned into the nasty one). Those arms were pretty scary as well – in the cartoons, I always thought they were a bit wussy and couldn’t really compete with proper superpowers but the scene in the surgery made me rethink that whole idea!
So why did I not enjoy it? As my brother pointed out, it was heavily laden with cheese! There were a lot of conversations that were so clichéd I desperately wanted them to be over with. This in turn made the flow of the film very jerky for me as it stumbled along from one scene to the next. Too much sentimental talk which whilst good for youngsters new to the genre was irritating for an old hack like me.
And can someone explain why the arms turned the good doctor into a power crazed maniac? And why doesn’t Peter Parker explain what happened with the Green Goblin to his mate, ‘arry, instead of letting his pal hate him forevermore?
Thing to learn from this film: Taking public transport has some quirky risks.
Rating: 5/10

2004-07-19T15:30:00.000+08:00

HARRY POTTER: THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN

Featuring: Danny Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, David Thewlis, Gary Oldman
Brief Synopsis: A murderer from the unescapable prison gets free and is on his way to pay Harry a very special visit.

Comments: I admit I spent the whole time of the film trying to recall what the book was like and how it progressed so it was a far from neutral viewpoint. However the film was pleasant in itself without being sterlingly brillant. Indeed my wife and uncle Ken watched it with no background of the Potter films or books and they said it was enjoyable. Again the leading 3 teenagers are superb, obviously very settled in their characters (although with hints of teenage angst - Hermione's hair, a speck of romance - but can't wait for spots) although I think they are starting to look older than the characters in the film (13yrs old). Gary Oldman is worth waiting for (as usual) and he looks suitable psychotic in the wanted posters. Cameo from Jennifer Saunders as the fat lady. Everyone does alright although Draco Malfoy does get irritating as he veers from arrogant to sh*t scared in every scene he's in. Does OK with an ending that doesn't tie up all the twists either. After all, it is a franchise!
Thing to learn from this film: A bit stuck here - don't ride on a broomstick when it is pouring with rain?
Rating: 6/10

2004-06-11T16:35:00.000+08:00

THE PUNISHER
Featuring: Thomas Jane, John Travolta, Rebecca Romijin-Stamos
Brief Synopsis: A highly decorated, military, undercover man has his entire, and I mean entire, family wiped out by very rich man whose son was killed in military’s man final mission. The former then sets about destroying the latter’s life whilst he tries to avoid being killed himself.

Comments: Whilst the Marvel comic has some history and background for the Punisher to develop, the essential plot of the film has been carried over by Hollywood many times over. And frankly, a lot better. The Malaysian censors had a good time with this one, snipping violent scenes short and at one stage cutting off part of his revenge speech when he started talking about avenging something that the law couldn’t. However it wouldn’t have helped the film much even if they had left the film intact. The action isn’t anything new, the bad guys are pretty well average and well it’s hard to think of many good things at all. Ok, the neighbours are easily the highlight of the film (along with the Russian assassin) with their ordinariness juxtaposed against the surrealism of The Punisher’s life. The lady neighbour is particularly fine although the many body shots of The Punisher helps to even this for the females members of the audience. But overall, it’s very difficult for me to recommend this film on any sort of basis.
Thing to learn from this film: Do not get piercings – if an evil henchman comes after you, that is just easy torture.
Rating: 3 /10

2004-06-08T14:55:00.000+08:00

ONE NIGHT IN MONGKOK
Featuring: Daniel Wu, Cecilia Cheung, Alex Fong
Brief Synopsis: Escalating triad retaliation is threatening to lead to all out war with the police attempting to stop it. A first time assassin is hired to kill a gang boss but during his stay rescues a prostitute from a beating. The story is told in the main from their point of view.

Comments: A film that left me very pensive exiting the cinema. Excellently crafted, it leads up to the final dark night in palpable stages with no obvious conclusions in sight. The setting of Hong Kong’s famous district provides the backdrop for Daniel Wu who does an excellent job of portraying the quiet assassin despite looking anything but one. Cecilia Cheung does OK as his guide in the bustling area although I think that Alex Fong looks too overburdened in his role as head of the police unit. The violence in the film is strong but unlike its Hollywood counterparts, it is due to the realism.
Thing to learn from this film: A bloodied man can sometimes be the good guy.
Rating: 8 /10

2004-05-27T16:35:00.000+08:00

THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW
Featuring: Dennis Quaid + a lot of special effects
Brief Synopsis: Ice age strikes the Northern Hemisphere and once again, Hollywood focuses on an American storyline. They discover the rather large problem, with the help of the English (hurrah), but not even the Americans can stop a weather system. As such the story then switches on one man’s journey to rescue his son with him combating the weather to get there.

Comments: My expectations were of some American saves the world in yet another disaster film a la Armageddon and Independence Day. It isn’t as predictable nor jingoistic as those are because of the shift in focus from warning the world to Dennis Quaid’s journey. The various storylines are not very original at all with the special effects saving the movie. The tornadoes, the floods, the ice freezing, snow storms are the real stars that keep you on the edge of your seat in addition to making you shiver. An enjoyable way to spend 2 hours although it won’t get your brain into deep thought. The environmentalists like it (although I did ignore the speech at the end but you shouldn't!) and it sure makes you glad to see the blue sky and sunshine once you get outside!
Thing to learn from this film: Those big U.S. volume tax books are useful for something!
Rating: 6.5/10

2004-05-25T14:23:00.000+08:00

SHREK 2
Featuring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz
Brief Synopsis: The big green ogre and his new bride go and visit the in-laws. Is that ever a good idea?!?

Comments: I wasn’t a big fan of the first one, although I didn’t hate it either, so I was fairly impartial. However despite not strongly wanting to see this sequel, I noticed myself enjoying it as the film progressed. As usual, there were lots of little adult film references for the older members of the audience to spot (Mission Impossible being one of my favourites). Versarchery gave me a broad smile as well. I’m not sure you can say much about the cast since you don’t see them but I thought Jennifer Saunders really got into her fairy godmother role. Antonio Banderas as the cat like assassin was also excellent. And does anyone else think that Rupert Everett sounds exactly like Hugh Grant? Not a must see in my opinion but if you make the effort, you will find yourself happier for it.
Thing to learn from this film: Be careful who you deal with – it may come to bite you back later in life.
Rating: 6.5/10

2004-05-23T19:34:00.000+08:00

VAN HELSING
Featuring: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale
Brief Synopsis: Man goes out to kill monsters like Frankenstein's Monster, the Wolf Man and Dracula.

Yin Ping's Comments: It was a quite predictable film which was neither here nor there but I couldn’t figure out if it was supposed to be humourous or scary. The special effects were quite good. Ben was also brought into the cinema but wasn’t scared (as Dez was late from football and went to the wrong cinema when trying to pick him up). Indeed he was perplexed by a windmill spinning which caught on fire whilst ignoring the vampires flying about!
Rating: 7/10

2004-05-08T05:37:00.000+08:00

JIANG HU
Featuring: Andy Lau, Edison Chen, Shawn Yu
Brief Synopsis: A Cantonese film charting the dual storyline of 2 friends who grow up to be triad leaders and the battles they have once they reach the top.

Comments: Despite missing the first 15 minutes due to traffic jams, it was an engaging film although it took me until the end of the film to realise that anything involving the young punks were actually the triad leaders in a flashback! It's a dark, moody Godfather-esque atmosphere which is just about right whenever triads are concerned because of their dealings at night. The tension is strung about right whilst you wonder what move the characters will make next. The acting is spot on with the portrayal of the boss and his bodyguard creating that nervousness where you wonder if another Hamlet-esque betrayal is about to occur. The acting of the younger guns didn't appeal as much to me but they served adequately enough to add to the story. A few loose ends were left open but overall not a regretable watch although not by any stretch of the imagination a feel good film! So what happened in the first 15 minutes?!?
Thing to learn from this film: Live by the sword, die by the sword. Or gun. Or machete.
Rating: 7/10

2004-04-21T01:36:00.001+08:00

HELLBOY
(otherwise known as SUPER SAPIENS in Malaysia)
Featuring: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair
Brief Synopsis: Demon summoned by Nazis is raised by the Americans and is used to deal with other naughty creatures that the police can't handle.

Comments: A quirky comic book adaptation which was enjoyable. Ron Pearlman fits his character like a glove and his charism and mannerisms shine through the red make up and filed down horns. The chief assassin has his fair share of spectacular shots as well. The plot is interesting enough to keep the viewers intrigued with the right amount of dialogue and action (although there was an noisy Malay girl in the audience - grrr). It must every hero's nightmare - you kill a creature, two more appear in its place! The photography is strong with the setting of scenes bringing the right mood to the film, such as the black umbrellas at the funeral. I enjoyed it enough without describing it as brilliant although only comic book fans can tell if it is true to the original (and even then they might argue about it!). If anyone can tell me why he likes cats so much, that would be great as well.
Thing to learn from this film: There is no such thing as destiny.
Rating: 6.5/10

2004-04-15T01:52:00.000+08:00

WALKING TALL
Featuring: The Rock, Johnny Knoxville
Brief Synopsis: Special Forces guy goes back to his hometown, finds a huge casino there and the local kids on drugs and kicks the responsible ass.

Comments: I was warned beforehand by Grace that it was a violent film but it wasn’t as bad as others I seen. I mean is a WWF wrestler ever going to give a dramatic performance based on emotions? But it’s a simple storyline with a lot of fighting and a bit of strip tease, which they of course cut out of the Malaysian version. There’s a nice long look at The Rock’s body if you like that sort of thing! Watchable but don’t expect an Oscar.
Thing to learn from this film: Don’t gamble.
Rating: 5/10

2004-04-06T23:43:00.000+08:00

THE CUP
Featuring: Jamyang Lodro, Orgyen Tobgyal, Neten Choklig, Lama Chonjor, Godu Lama
Brief Synopsis: World Cup fever takes over one young monk in India.

Comments: A very pure, innocent film where you can feel the rawness of the producer, Khyentse Norbu. Apparently based on real life events, it gives the viewer a taste of what life inside a Buddhist monastery is like with the story of the young protagonist intertwined within it all. The pace of the film is totally unlike the products turned out of Hollywood. There are no musical scores, no romantic interests, no violence; just a film that reflects the quiet and unassuming life of a monk. An interesting piece of work although I’m not totally sure it will appeal to everyone. If you want a slice of something different, give this a taste. The film is in Tibetan but has English subtitles.
Ratings: 7/10

2004-03-31T02:51:00.000+08:00

ALONG CAME POLLY
Featuring: Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston
Brief Synopsis: Man gets married, wife has affair on honeymoon, man spends rest of the film trying to see if he fits better with polar extreme

Comments: I didn’t like this film. There was the odd funny moments: the French scuba diver is excellent, the sweaty basketball player is every athlete’s nightmare but otherwise just not funny. I know Jennifer is trying to play a different character from Rachel (Friends) and she does alright but nothing spectacular. It feels too forced. Ben Stiller is just acting the same as he normally does which isn’t a bad thing but then a lot depends on the cast around him. It tries but fails to score.
Thing to learn from this film: If your wife has an affair on your honeymoon, your marriage isn’t going to work out!
Rating: 3/10

2004-03-20T02:48:00.000+08:00

SOMETHINGS GOTTA GIVE
Featuring: Jack Nickolson, Diane Keaton, Keanu Reeves
Brief Synopsis: Woman gets pursued by man her own age and sexy, young doctor.

Comments: A romantic comedy which I thoroughly enjoyed enough to watch it twice! Interesting to see it based on a different demographic of the population but that didn’t make it any less interesting. I guess all relationships are the same whatever the age because at the heart of it people are getting involved with each other with no certainty of things going well. Funny to watch, lots of enjoyable scenes (crying whilst typing the play, pieces of the play) and Jack is ace (the ladies don’t mind a bit of cute Keane either!). Not particularly keen on the ending but I guess it couldn’t end any other way. Grossest part of the film is when old people kiss. No offence, anyone who reads this!
Rating: 8/10

2004-03-18T02:45:00.000+08:00

HIGHWAYMEN
Featuring: Jim Caviel, Rhona Mitra
Brief Synopsis: Man sees his wife get killed by car and spends the rest of the film trying to track down the driver.

Comments: A film well done. The tone of the film is excellent for the subject matter, dark and bleak, and the directing and photography really draws you into the mind of the 2 drivers. Jim Caviel portrays his brooding character well, he must be one of the best actors when having very little to say. The suspense leading up to the killer driver is also very well built up. Brrr. A thriller worth watching as long as you don’t mind ever looking at cars, American highways and standing alongside a road in another light again.
Thing to learn from this film: What you teach your kids will follow them into adulthood.
Rating: 8/10

2004-02-25T02:44:00.000+08:00

TIMELINE
Featuring: Paul Walker, Billy Connelly
Brief Synopsis: Man gets sent back in time where French and English are about to do battle and his son and friends have to try to rescue him.

Comments: Unbelievable plot even by Hollywood standards which asks you to suspend belief on so many fronts, it’s abnormal. Everyone speaking modern day English is my main gripe. This could be forgiven if the story was any good but frankly it’s not. The cast are pretty ordinary in their acting and frankly it’s hard to think of anything that is worth recommending. Nope, it’s all bad and I really can’t think why I went to see this film. I thought it was something else at the time!
Rating: 1/10

2004-02-19T02:35:00.000+08:00

SCHOOL OF ROCK
Featuring: Jack Black, Joan Cusack
Brief Synopsis: A rock guitarist gets kicked out of his band and forms a new one involving school kids.

Comments: Specially written for Jack Black and you can see why. He anchors this film so much, his enthusiasm shines through and he portrays that studious, mad nothing-but-rock-music-guy in his head so well, that you truly believe he is like that in real life! A comedy that carries you along so much that you don’t care about the fact that the classroom’s music insulation would not work at all. I also swear the boot of my car is like the back of his van. Music to play anytime, anywhere. Football to play anytime, anywhere!
Thing to learn from this film: Teachers have a big influence on their kids.
Rating: 7/10

2004-02-05T00:36:00.000+08:00

RUNAWAY JURY
Featuring: John Cusack, Gene Hackman, Dustin Hoffman
Brief Synopsis: Guy gets on a jury of an important trial and offers his services to both parties to swing it there way – for a lot of money.

Comments: Another John Grisham film so I thought it might be a bit predictable especially having read many of his novels (although not this one). However it was actually a big roller coaster of a film with lots of frentic action carrying the thin plot all the way through. It’s helped with energetic performances by 3 big actors within the film. Cusack is thoroughly believable as a conspirator within the jury and Hoffman is easy enough as the good guy lawyer. Gene, as his polar opposite, is nice and vicious in his portrayal as a big money jury consulter. Don’t expect much in the way of deep arguments about the gun control and you will find your evening has passed by pleasantly enough. My only question is: how much of this stuff is true? Isn’t it lawyers who win or lose cases in trials?!
Thing to learn from this film: Things that you do in the past may come back to bite you later on in life.
Rating: 7/10

2004-01-17T00:38:00.000+08:00

INFERNAL AFFAIRS 1, 2 & 3
Featuring: Andy Lau, Tony Leung
Brief Synopsis: OK this is a trilogy of 3 films but it revolves around the first film.
The first film pits the police against the triads in the streets of Hong Kong and each as an informer in the upper ranks of the other. The race is on to find out the informer in the opposing team.
The second film gives a lot of background history to the first film, how they got into the police force, the triads and so on.
The last film is more of a sequel to the first one but with occasionally flashbacks and 2 new characters.

Comments: All are worth watching. As with The Matrix, the first one is the best! The background that the second film provides makes it intriguing and sometimes made me wonder if it was better to watch that one first! The final installment in the series isn’t as good as the others but still provides enough twists and turns to keep you on the edge of your seat. I find that is what the Infernal Affairs series is all about – a plot that keeps the viewer guessing and hip hopping as if we were on hot coals. No overly dramatic gun play or explosions, they are used when necessary, but it is the performance of the large cast that keeps you riveted to your seat.
Thing to learn from this film: Life is not always what it appears.
Ratings:
The first one 10/10
The second one 9/10
The third one 7/10

2004-01-15T00:40:00.000+08:00

THE MEDALLION
Featuring: Jackie Chan, Claire Forlani. Lee Evans
Brief Synopsis: Some villain steals something that gives him powers out of this world and the others, including a Chinese govt agent (surprise, surprise), have to try to stop him.

Comments: It was a bit of thin plot line but at least with Jackie Chan, you know you are going to get some authentic, creative stunts and his first on-screen kiss. Lee Evans provides a bit of comic humour to keep it all light hearted and his Chinese martial arts wife, Christy Chung, gives a cameo appearance to thwart the baddies. But the whole film is rubbish. The over acting by the evil baddie is awful and the powers of The Medallion with regards to martial arts makes it all seem like a very bad computer game. By the end of the film, I was very happy that I didn’t pay any money to watch it!
Thing to learn from this film: Don’t try to copy any Jackie Chan moves.
Ratings: 2/10